


You're Wang Fire?

by itsmoonpeaches



Series: Identity Theft [3]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Episode: s03e02 The Headband, Fire Nation (Avatar), Gen, Humor, Minor Aang/Katara, Minor Sokka/Suki, POV Sokka (Avatar), Post-100 Year War (Avatar TV), Post-Avatar: The Last Airbender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:28:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27989232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsmoonpeaches/pseuds/itsmoonpeaches
Summary: “You can’t be serious,” complained Sokka, banging his forehead on the table. He was sure to have a lingering red mark. He did not care. “Zuko why?”Zuko, being the Fire Lord, was entitled to order his citizens around. He was not entitled to order Sokka around, and he was going to remind him of that little fact until he forgot about the time that he and Aang performed a dragon dance together. (It was not a proper fighting form. It was not.)“I can’t believe Zuko is making us go with you to talk about Water Tribe history,” grumbled Sokka, his voice muffled by the hard surface. He pressed his face further into the tabletop.-Or, Sokka is forced to try not to embarrass himself at a Fire Nation school.
Relationships: Aang & Katara & Sokka & Zuko, Aang & Sokka (Avatar), Katara & Sokka (Avatar), Sokka & The Gaang (Avatar), Sokka & Zuko (Avatar)
Series: Identity Theft [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1830898
Comments: 28
Kudos: 132





	You're Wang Fire?

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why this took forever and a half, but I guess I just suck at trying to write humor. Hopefully this is ok? I'm not really sure how much I like this, but it's been begging to be completed. If anything, this was good practice! I did have some fun with the dialogue though.

It started with a conversation at the crack of dawn which Sokka hated beyond belief. In fact, Sokka hated it so much that he would have rather fought a thousand evil Fire Lords and about a million bloodbender grandmothers on a full moon just then. At the same time. He would not even complain about it, honest.

He admitted that he never was good at self-preservation. It came with the territory of growing up on a block of ice surrounded by an unforgiving ocean and the potential for a daily impending invasion. It was something he just had to accept, you know?

Needless to say, the morning was _evil,_ and he was not going to apologize for sneaking in an entire pot of very caffeinated black tea. Courtesy of Iroh, of course. He threw in a few sweet egg buns from the palace kitchens for good measure, and he was most definitely not sorry for that. (Though he would probably be hearing from Zuko’s head chef soon because he took about a dozen, and a dozen was much more than the two he initially planned on pilfering. As hungry as he was, he was not an idiot. That number of buns was much more obvious.)

“You can’t be serious,” complained Sokka, banging his forehead on the table. He was sure to have a lingering red mark. He did not care. “Zuko _why?”_

Zuko, being the Fire Lord, was entitled to order his citizens around. He was not entitled to order Sokka around, and he was going to remind him of that little fact until he forgot about the time that he and Aang performed a dragon dance together. (It was not a proper fighting form. It was _not._ )

“I can’t believe Zuko is making us go with you to talk about Water Tribe history,” grumbled Sokka, his voice muffled by the hard surface. He pressed his face further into the tabletop.

“I think it’s great,” he heard Katara say. He could practically see her beaming in the shadow of the wood grains. 

_My sister…ever the optimist,_ he thought, rolling his eyes.

Aang nodded in agreement. “He thinks it was the natural next step since you guys were going to be in town anyway. Besides, I’m an Air Nomad. I’m pretty sure you guys are better at Water Tribe history than I am.”

“I didn’t come here to visit schools,” Sokka moaned. “I came here to visit Suki before we have to go back to the South Pole for the New Moon Celebration. Besides, all we’re doing is talking to little fire children to _maybe_ de-brainwash them from decades of hypnotism.”

“I don’t think it’s really _hypnotism,_ Sokka. I think it’s more like propaganda.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

Someone coughed to his side and Sokka glanced upward, grimacing.

“I’m still here, you know,” deadpanned Zuko. “Why are you all talking about this like I’m not here?” His golden eyes peered at them. He crossed his arms, leaning on the doorframe of the conference room that he was about to exit before he was thoroughly distracted by his friends’ discussion. Sokka would have laughed at his expense if he were not so miffed by the request that had been made of him.

Sokka glared at him. “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over your royal decreeing.”

Zuko groaned and shook his head, palming his formal topknot to make sure it was not slanted. The meeting they had just sat through had been long, and he had grown more disheveled as it went on. Old policymakers that were set in their ways were always a problem.

Sokka watched as Zuko gave up and shouldered the doors open, leaving the three of them to their own devices.

“Well, we still have the rest of the day left,” said Aang, ever so cheerful. “Want to plan our syllabus?”

One day, someone was going to find a tied-up Avatar on top of some volcano that was about to erupt, and Sokka would say that he did not know what they were talking about. Why? Because he would not have been associated with the incident. Not at all.

-

He saw Aang march right up to the courtyard with as much enthusiasm as a curly-tailed blue nose would have when it encountered a bunch of ripe bananas. Sokka followed him and his sister with significantly less enthusiasm.

The familiar golden triangle symbol that was engraved into the plank above the main entrance was the thing that made Sokka realize that yes, Zuko not only wanted to torture him, but he wanted the experience to have a lasting effect. He could not believe that he was really about to return to Aang’s Fire Nation school of all places. He was not incognito this time, and he felt very naked without a beard to cover half his face. He suspected that Katara did not care one way or another. She seemed more fascinated with the fact that Aang was explaining the little details of traditional school life to her.

At least the obnoxious flaming statue of Ozai was gone, and as far as he could see, there were no glaring faces at them. Though, he did suppose that the war had been over for a good few months now. They were bound to notice that their new Fire Lord was friends with the Avatar, a pair of Southern Water Tribe peasants, a crazy blind earthbender that enjoyed nose-picking, and a impeccably talented Kyoshi Warrior.

Suki was perfect _and_ beautiful, but even she could not save them from this mess.

Sokka perked up when he heard a voice from around a red-painted pillar. He was a few steps behind his sister and Aang inside the main school building now and could not help but let his curiosity get the better of him.

“Isn’t that Kuzon?” a scruffy-looking kid asked a rather tall one. He scratched his chin and raised thick eyebrows.

Looking back, Sokka supposed this should have been his fair warning.

“No, that’s the Avatar,” the other boy answered with a voice that was far too deep for someone that was around Aang’s pubescent age. It must have been the result of side effects of botched puberty. (He was not going to explain to anyone why he knew that was possible. He had a normal cycle of growth, thank you very much.)

Just then, Katara leaned in to giggle and peck Aang on the cheek in that gross “new couple” way they always did. Sokka wished Suki were there so that he could pepper her with praises and kisses, but mostly so that he could rub it in that he had been dating her longer than Katara had been with Aang. The boys had apparently seen it and pretended to gag about girl germs.

_Oh, how to be so innocent,_ thought Sokka with a laugh. He squinted back at his sister and Aang. _Wait…_

That was a pondering image he was going to file in his “do not dare think about again” pile.

A gong rang and the students jumped so far into the air that Sokka thought they were going to let the wind pressure take their trousers. A flood of more students took to the halls, and he was pushed forward like a salmon trout swimming upriver. He forced his way through the crowd and back toward Katara and Aang who had now reached some elaborate door with yet another triangle emblem at the peak.

A female voice rang out in the halls, echoing. “The auditorium, students! In ten minutes!” She paused for a second, then shouted, “Shoji, get back in line! Now is not the time for hide and explode!”

Sokka found out in minutes that the office he was being led to was the headmaster’s. There were three red lacquer chairs placed in front of a desk overflowing with paperwork. Quite the little nightmare if you asked him. The headmaster bowed to them profusely before leading them to the door. He was just as Sokka remembered him: overly stern, gray-haired, and with a well put-together topknot that put Zuko’s terrible one to shame.

“Well, Avatar Aang, we are truly honored to have you here again at our gracious learning facility,” the man said with another bow. “Come with me, if you please.”

Sokka lifted an eyebrow as he walked to Aang’s right. Katara was to his left, and Aang was in the center. “What, you went here before?” he asked. With his look, he hoped to convey the unspoken question. _You went here when you weren’t Kuzon?_

Aang seemed to notice and shrugged, clearing his throat. “We’re happy to be here to help, headmaster. My friends from the Southern Water Tribe will be presenting on Water Tribe history today. In the auditorium?”

The headmaster exchanged a few pleasantries with the passing faculty as they followed them to their destination.

“Yes, yes,” the man agreed. “That they are. But first, I wanted to meet you briefly.” He glanced at them. “Mister and miss…?”

Sokka puffed out his chest, “Sokkire,” he said without thinking. He coughed. “Fire! I mean Sokka! Sokka, Mister Sokka.” He should have worn a beard. He blamed it on that. He was out of his element.

Katara let out a nervous chuckle. “Master Katara,” she introduced herself. “Please ignore my brother.”

It was really too bad that this exchange occurred just as they entered the auditorium, because the look on the headmaster’s face was one Sokka would never forget. He was going to hate this more than he thought he would, and it was all because of a slip-up that he regretted as soon as it came flying out of his mouth. His dumb, dumb mouth.

He knew he was the meat and sarcasm guy, but he might as well have been the stick-his-whole-foot-in-his-mouth guy.

It was a cat deer in firelights kind of situation. They were standing in the center of the room, rows of seats being filled by the whole school, teachers filing students into neat sections, unaware of their problems. All Sokka could see was the pale dread on this poor man’s face, and part of Sokka wanted Zuko to know that he was successful in making him suffer.

“Mister and missus… _Fire?”_ the man squeaked in such a high-pitched voice that the ceiling must have cracked.

A teacher smacked their own forehead with the palm of their hand.

The soft conversation in the amphitheater stalled. “Wait,” gasped the same short boy he had spotted earlier. His caterpillar eyebrows looked furrier than Sokka would have thought possible as they crept up his forehead. He had caught a seat that was conveniently near them. “The Avatar is dating his mom? Wow. The colonies must be a wild place.”

“It’s not _the colonies_ anymore _,_ you hog monkey! It’s the _Earth Kingdom,”_ insisted a giant student with sideburns.

_Sideburns? Were these kids drinking special tea?_

“It’s really the same thing, isn’t it?”

“No,” a buck-toothed girl said importantly from across the hall. She raised a finger. “We as a nation no longer associate ourselves with imperialist tendencies.” It sounded like a quote.

“What does that even mean?”

“I don’t know,” came the reply. “Ask my mom.”

Random sentences exploded from one end of the room to the other. Sokka could barely keep up. The rising heat crept up his neck and he could only stare in abject horror as one student guessed that the fake beard he had used was actually made from the shaved armpits of Fire Nation farmers, and another begged to know if Aang was really his son…because why not?

_“You’re_ Wang Fire?” came the shrill voice of the headmaster again. He was pointing at Sokka with an incredulous expression, his finger shaking. “I’ll have you know, sir, that I’ve had nightmares about you!”

Aang tried to calm them all down, but when another kid suggested that they debate the pros and cons of marrying your blood-relatives and reproduction in the colonies, there was nothing else for Sokka to do but hear himself scream. He was sure Katara turned green, but he was too busy figuring out how to keep his breakfast in to worry about that.

Sokka was going to kill Zuko if it were the last thing he did, and it would be far more creative than putting him atop a volcano. He was going to ask Mai for help, and he was sure she could come up with about four-hundred and fifty-seven ways to murder a world leader without causing an international incident.

**Author's Note:**

> And there is that! Please comment and/or leave kudos down below!


End file.
